What Is the BEST Marriage Counseling?

Mark Virkler's picture

“My name is Cindy [name changed] and I completed Prayers That Heal the Heart about 6 months ago. Through the process of God healing my heart, the Lord instructed me to pray for my ex-husband. As I continued to pray for him, our friendship has been restored and he and I both have the desire for our marriage to be restored. Is there any counseling that Communion with God Ministries offers that can lead and guide us toward restoration of our marriage?”  - Cindy

What a wonderful testimony!

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How Do I Walk in the Peace That the Prince of Peace Walked In?

Mark Virkler's picture

Bill Gothard teaches that anger is an inner alarm signal of rights I have not laid down, or if I did, I picked them back up again. I remember getting angry years ago when I was pastoring a church which was experiencing division. My reputation was being ruined by people gossiping and spreading untruths about me to people who had never even met me. The listeners would then take up a reproach against me, even though they had never connected even once with me. How unfair. I was ready to get angry.

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Living in Rest Requires Living at Peace with Myself and Others

Mark Virkler's picture

I concluded that stress was the major cause of my heart attack, so I became diligent to enter God’s rest (Hebrews 4:11). Part of this rest involves a heart that is at peace with myself and others. The peace of God guards our hearts (Phil. 4:6-7). Being emotionally troubled over relationships does not result in peace or rest for one’s heart.

I know for many years of my life, judging ruled rather than mercy and peace. Micah 6:8 says I am to DO justly and LOVE mercy. I had those two flipped: I loved judging and only did mercy. After being critical, I would feel anger or contempt about the person or the situation. This is not peace. These negative emotions surely damaged my heart and contributed toward my heart attack. 

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Experience Rest by Learning How to Delegate

Mark Virkler's picture

Everyone delegates. Delegation is one way we can reduce the stress in our lives. I am amazed at how effectively my son and daughter-in-law delegate jobs to their children and how well my grandchildren do these jobs. Through this my grandchildren are learning key life skills and being paid in the process.

Moses was experiencing burnout because he was the only one judging the Israelites when they had quarrels. Jethro, his father-in-law, taught him how to delegate. Read the story in Exodus 18:13-22.

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Put Your Marriage Over the Top

Mark Virkler's picture

It is so easy to focus on the imperfections in your spouse rather than the amazing God-given gifts which cause you as a team to be strong.  Whatever you gaze upon creates your reality. If I want an amazing marriage, I need to focus on the gifts in my spouse. So here are two questions you can ask the Lord:  Lord, would you show me all the gifts my spouse brings into my life so I can honor and appreciate and love my spouse properly? Lord, would you paint a picture of the full destruction my lack of gratitude for my spouse will bring to my life?

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Hear People's Hearts Going Beyond Words to What the Heart is REALLY Saying

Mark Virkler's picture

Your wife screams, “You never say you love me.” You answer, “That’s not true. I told you I loved you in our marriage vow and if it ever changes, I’ll let you know.”

OK, in this example both parties are getting it wrong. For the wife, it would have been better if she could have said, “I feel starved for love and affection. Can you please show you love me by …?”

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Why Opposites Attract - Is There a Purpose?

Mark Virkler's picture

We almost all discover that our spouses are very different from us! This can produce huge issues and even separation or it can produce what God intended it to produce: wholeness, harmony, unity and balance. Will I judge, dishonor, scorn and separate or will I honor, accept, receive and grow. The choice is mine.

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Leadership Teams Led by the Spirit

Mark Virkler's picture

If we as individuals are to walk by the Spirit, then surely the eldership of a local assembly is to be led by the Spirit! So how would this look? What would they do when they came together to ensure the decisions they make are Spirit-led? Spirit-led five-fold teams experience more complete revelation and move forward when in unity.

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