Mark you’re trying to rush ahead of yourself.
Did you really say that?
What do you mean?
I mean you’re going too fast.
You’re going to have to explain yourself God.
You’re trying to get where I want you to go. But you’re trying to get there too fast.
This is really you right?
How can I be sure?
Does it feel like me?
Yes it feels like you. But it’s always so difficult to be sure. It takes so much time testing what you say to see if it’s really you. Sometimes I have to test it again and again. It’s very annoying at times.
Of course. You know the scripture.
‘You don’t need any man to teach you, but the anointing teaches you.’ 1 JOHN 2:27
Who is the anointing Mark?
Exactly. So you can’t rely on another human to confirm that you’re hearing God - you have to rely on me to confirm it for you. Neither can you rely on evidence. ‘It is an evil generation that looks for a sign’. You have to rely on the anointing, which is me, to tell you if it’s me you’re hearing.
Ok so back to what you were saying. You said I’m rushing ahead of myself?
Yes. Mark you can hear what I’ve promised. You can hear my voice. Very clearly. But you’re trying to bring it to pass yourself.
Oh oh. I thought the efforts I am making were your idea. Did I get that wrong?
No. The efforts you’re making are fine. After all these years you’re finally learning that you need to ask me, every single step of the way, if what you’re thinking is me or not. That part’s fine.
‘I cannot do anything of my own will, but according to that which I have heard’ JOHN 5:30
So what are you talking about?
I mean you’re SO eager for me to bring to pass the things I’ve promised that you’re frustrated with the speed I’m going at. You’re wanting to hurry me.
Ok so the efforts I’m making – you want me to stop?
Ok I don’t understand then.
No you don’t. But if you listen I’ll explain. You can hear what I’ve promised, and you can hear me constantly repeat those promises. You really did get that bit right. But your attitude is one of wanting to urge me along. And that’s understandable – you’re in limbo. But can you remember what your friend Geoff said about pain?
Yes, that pain is God’s megaphone, through which he speaks to the world.
Good. He’s right. But instead of confidently waiting no matter how painful, your attitude is one of wanting to push me. You want to hurry me along. Don’t. Slow down. Can you remember what your client said the other day?
Yes of course; ‘Hurry slowly – it’s quicker’.
Exactly. The efforts you are making are fine. You ask me for each step, and most of the time you get it right. So relax about that. Relax about everything. Let me make this happen. You’re not hurrying me, but you really want to. Stop wanting to. Start wanting to let me decide how long this will take. It’s ok. I know what I’m doing. I’m very happy with the speed it’s taking.
I keep thinking about the Simon and Garfunkel song, is it relevant?
It is. But I want you to change the spelling of a word. Write it like this – ‘Slow down you’re going too fast, got to make the MOURNING last’. Change morning to MOURNING. If you let the pain take its course it will have the best effect. It will reshape you to the extent I want it to. You’ll get what I’ve promised, AND you’ll be in the best possible shape to handle what I’ve promised you.
PRAISE FOR THE FREEDOM DIARIES
“I thoroughly recommend Mark Holloway's book The Freedom Diaries –it asks challenging questions about our own spiritual journey and encourages us into a deeper, more intimate conversation and relationship with God….” ANDREW URQUHART - RHEMA ANNOUNCER
“You will read this book and know what a conversation with the real, living God sounds like. What makes Mark’s conversations with God unique is the pure, genuine, sane nature of what God says. And you will know exactly how to have a conversation yourself with this very real, very talkative God.” BILL KASPER. COMPUTER SCIENTIST. AUSTIN TEXAS
If you like what you read and want to know more about these conversations with God, you can purchase your own copy of Mark Holloway's book, 'The Freedom Diaries - God Speaks Back'.