A dad sort of father

Mark Holloway's picture

Mark you just need to keep on listening. Listening and then listening even more. In your life you could do with more listening. You know that don’t you?

You mean listening to you?


What do you mean by more listening God?

More listening would make it easier to achieve the things you want to in life.

Really God? I’m the guy who’s always listening. That’s what people say anyway, and it’s not always a compliment either. They think I’m a little strange to listen to you as much as I do. A bit too spiritual.

Well Mark you could listen more if you wanted. I’m just saying.

Is this a rebuke God?

Mark no, not at all. You’ve asked and asked and asked me to talk to you. And that’s what I’m doing.  I’m just talking. Why does it always have to be a rebuke? Why can’t it be a comment, an observation, a thought?

Ok. True God, sorry.

Don’t be sorry Mark. I’m your father. I’m your dad sort of father - not your angry stern sort of father.

Ok God?

Well Mark which sort of father do you want me to be?

The dad sort I guess God.

Good then relax. Sit with me. Let me talk. Let me muse. Let me ask you questions and make observations. Let me be your dad - like a dad sitting around a camp fire with you. That sort of dad.


Well? Would you like me to be that sort of dad Mark? The two of us sitting around a camp fire talking. Lying on our bed rolls just talking. Father and son. Tossing around the thoughts that have been on our minds, airing them for the other to see. Asking questions, making comments.


Ok God - this is really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY you right? Like I’m not making this up or hearing the other fella?

It’s really me Mark.

Well if it’s really you then it sure sounds good. Better than good really. I’d love to know you like that God. Actually it sounds totally and completely awesome as my kids might say. It really does.

Tell me what you’re thinking Mark?

Well I’m thinking that when you tell me you love me, when you use words like I love you, I don’t like it, don’t believe it…

You know why that is right?

Yes. Well I think I do. I think it’s because of my own baggage – my hang ups and insecurities blah blah blah, I think that’s why I can’t quite relate to you saying you love me. It’s uncomfortable, sort of too religious I guess - I have issues accepting you love me.


And well I’m a bit of a cynic God. I’m cynical about the word ‘love’ when used in connection with you. I’ve heard too many religious people saying they love each other when they clearly don’t. I’ve done the same. I’ve heard them say they love you when they’ve never even had a conversation with you. I’ve done the same too. And then I’ve heard them tell others that God loves them. I’ve done all that myself God and I haven’t meant or understood it any more than they have. It’s all been so empty so often.


And so when you turn up and say it’s really you talking - and then you go and say you love me it just sounds so darned religious somehow God. Like the words might have meant something once but not anymore. Now it seems the words have been trotted out so often that they’re a bit meaningless. To me anyway. Sorry God but if I’m honest that’s just the way I feel.

Don’t be sorry, I want to hear the rest of the story Mark – I’m enjoying this.

Ok well so I don’t like it when you tell me you love me, but you keep on insisting on doing so. And I guess I’m getting used to it. A little bit anyway. I’m slowly starting to believe it but I have to tell you God I’m still not comfortable with it.

No you’re not, but a switch went on in your mind earlier in this conversation didn’t it?

Yes it did. But before I get to that God, can I just say something really crazy?

Yes sure.

Ok, well since you talked about it just before, the campfire image has become so stuck in my mind that it’s become a reality. In my mind that’s become exactly what’s happening right now.  It really is me and you lying around the campfire talking. That picture has become so real that I’d forgotten that it was just an image you suggested. How weird is that God?!?

I don’t find it weird at all Mark. That’s what it’s like when I say something – it becomes real. And that’s what I’ve always wanted with you. There’s a lot more for us to do together than just sit around a campfire talking, but that’s one of the most important things right now. Just to be able to relax in the wild with you, in the cool of a February evening, swatting bugs, enjoying the fire, feeling a cooling breeze and just talking Mark. Just talking. But tell me, I want to hear you explain the switch that flicked on in your mind at the start of this conversation.

Ok well the switch flicking on was the reason I said all that stuff about how I get uncomfortable when you say you love me.

Yes exactly, so explain the switch Mark.

Ok well when you talked about you and me lying around the camp fire, just talking and chewing the fat about all kinds of stuff like I did a few times with my own dad… that’s when the switch flicked on in my mind God. When I heard you say that, SUDDENLY I actually believed that you loved me. I understood it somehow. A bit anyway. When you explained it like the campfire scene I realised I could be comfortable with you loving me if that’s what it meant.

Yes you did.

So why has it taken so long to tell me the story like that God? Why didn’t you explain it to me like that before now?

You wouldn’t have understood it Mark. Not until now. You wouldn’t have known what I meant.

Are you sure God?

Trust me Mark I’m sure. You wouldn’t have understood. You needed to learn all the things that you have about what I’m really like first. If you hadn’t then the stern image of me that Religion has taught you wouldn’t have allowed you to understand the campfire story. By having a conversation with me, back and forward, for all these six years, you’ve learned things about me that you could never learn listening to sermons or reading. You have to get it direct from me and lots of it to understand me Mark.

Ok God keep talking please.

Mark that’s enough for one night. Just lie there in the long grass of your mind, prop your head up on your hand, watch the fire, look across at me as I talk, swat some bugs, feel the sleep coming on and savour this moment. Just me and you – you and your dad out here in the wild talking and enjoying each other’s company.


You can purchase your own copy of Mark Holloway's book, 'The Freedom Diaries - God Speaks Back' on this website.

IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE THINKING IT'S YOUR OWN IMAGINATION WHEN YOU TRY TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH GOD - read the 'Practical Tips' section. How to have your own conversation with God in
The Freedom Diaries


Related Resources: 

How to Hear God's Voice!   

Related Blogs: 

How to Hear God’s Voice   
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Results 1 - 10 of 461


4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice

4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 305 Pages | Retail: $16.99

Have you ever wished you could just sit down and have a long talk with the Lord? Wouldn't it be wonderful to move beyond having a theology that states that God loves you to actually hearing Him whisper words of love into your heart? When you're worried or confused, wouldn't you love to see the situation from His perspective and hear how He wants you to respond?

Price: $12.95

4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice (hard cover)

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 305 Pages

40% off the suggested retail price!

For the first time EVER! Hardcover copies of 4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice. This is a magnificent, beautiful gift to give for any occasion. Retailing at $24.95, you can purchase it through our website at only $15.00! Bless people with the gift of spiritual intimacy with the Lord Jesus Christ. Get a souvenir copy for yourself. Only 600 copies produced, so order while supplies last!

Price: $15.00

Dialogue with God

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 296 Pages

This top seller for 30 years from Bridge Logos provides a narrative, right-brain presentation of the principles of how to hear God's voice. Especially enjoyable for personal use, it makes a great gift for introducing a loved one to the voice of God. This book teaches the four keys to hearing God's voice in readable style, and also devotes two entire chapters to moving samples of people's journaling (i.e. their two-way dialogue with God).

Price: $16.99
Hear God's Voice Guaranteed Package

Hear God's Voice Guaranteed Package

9 Books | 10 CDs | 10 DVDs | Save $30+

Have you ever wished you could just sit down and have a long talk with the Lord? Wouldn't it be wonderful to move beyond having a theology that states that God loves you to actually hearing Him whisper words of love into your heart? When you're worried or confused, wouldn't you love to see the situation from His perspective and hear how He wants you to respond? When things don't seem to be going your way and your prayers aren't answered the way you had hoped, wouldn't it be great to hear Him tell you where He is in the midst of it, and what He is working out in your life? Are you ever just a little bit jealous of others who say with such confidence, "The Lord said...."?

Price: $175.00

How to Hear God's Voice

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 317 Pages

We recommend that you order the newest revision of this book titled 4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice. It includes 95% of the content of How to Hear God's Voice but is reorganized so it fits perfectly with the 10 DVDs on this subject by Mark Virkler. In addition, it gets you started using the four keys earlier in the book and gives you more journaling samples and exercises. Since we have removed the large margins, it is a smaller and less expensive book.

Price: $19.95

Prayers That Heal the Heart - Revised & Expanded 20th Anniversary Edition

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 320 Pages

Prayer counseling that breaks every yoke! Everything you need to experience deep healing of your soul and spirit.

Did you know that you don’t need to be continually plagued by negative thoughts, feelings, pictures or memories?

It is not part of the "human condition" to feel the constant nagging of doubt, insecurity, or anger. No matter what sin you are trying to overcome, what lie you think you’ll always believe, or what traumas your heart has suffered in the past, you will receive total freedom and restoration by praying these prayers in faith. 

Price: $17.99

Twelve Weeks to Spiritual Mastery - Group Coaching

A group coaching experience with Mark Virkler

Because I could not find a Spirit-anointed teacher/coach, I spent ten extremely frustrating years seeking to hear God’s voice!!! Suggestions offered did not help me, things like: “You just know that you know. It is a still small voice. He speaks from your heart.” No one could give me the answer I needed which was: Hearing God’s voice is as simple as quieting yourself down, fixing your eyes on Jesus, recognizing His voice as spontaneous, flowing thoughts and writing down His flow as it is coming. Test what you have written after the flow is done, NOT while it is occurring.

Price: $1,200.00

Counseled by God

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 146 Pages

Have you ever been defeated by negative emotions such as anger, fear, guilt, inferiority, condemnation or depression? Have you tried to fight them off unsuccessfully? Is there an answer that is deeper than simply trying to mentally reason yourself out of these emotions? Is there a way that Jesus can speak a word of life into the depths of your emotional despair and bring healing on a deep level? Is there a form of Christian counseling that begins and ends with the movement of Christ within your heart, rather than simply with the words of man?

Price: $9.95
Hear God Through Your Dreams Workbook Cover

Hear God Through Your Dreams Workbook

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 92 Pages

A new book has just been released that accompanies this workbook: Click here for Hearing God Through Your Dreams by Charity Kayembe and Mark Virkler (featured on Sid Roth's "It's Supernatural", with almost a million views just on YouTube).

Do you often wake up feeling there was a significant message in your dream, but you’re just not sure what it is? Like Daniel and Joseph, do you long to be able to help others understand their own dreams and win them to Christ as you explain His night messages to them? Wouldn't it be nice if you could receive mid-course corrections from the Lord while you sleep? Do you wish you could be receiving divine inspiration, creative solutions to problems, and direction from the Lord during that third of your life that you’re “just” sleeping?

Price: $11.95

Hearing God Through Your Dreams

by Mark Virkler and Charity Virkler Kayembe | 292 Pages

Learn How to Hear God’s Voice, Even When You Are Sleeping

It is always fun to be on the winning team. Well look what God has done with Charity's new dreams teaching. It has taken off like a rocket with a live TV interview on Cornerstone Network and her Sid Roth interview which has almost a million views on YouTube!

Price: $16.99