Beautiful Pain

Mark Holloway's picture

God when the pain is gone, will I still be able to rely on myself to come to you for conversation? When I don’t need to come because your voice is the only soothe for the pain, will I still come?

Mark not unless I give you a new pain.

God did you honestly say that?


Oh man. I don’t know what to say. If I tell others this, it will make you seem harsh and I know you’re not. And what’s more I don’t know if I can live with this level of pain for the rest of my life. And yet I must keep coming to you for this conversation. Life is nothing without it. I don’t want to be too comfortable to need it, but I don’t know if I can cope with this level of pain for the rest of my life. Can I?

Mark just listen. The good news is that you don’t need to.

But you just said I needed new pain.

Yes. You need a new pain. A good pain. Highly addictive. A ‘no pain, no gain’ sort of pain. Mark an athlete needs pain. He needs the pain of exercise, it forms and shapes him. The exercise shapes his body, the pain involved shapes his mind, his will, so that he is prepared to keep exercising against the pain.

I will give you a new pain. A good pain. A healthy pain. You have said yourself that you cannot live without this conversation. You have said yourself that it is addictive. And so it is. How could it not be? A conversation with the Creator, no less. Highly addictive! So where is the pain? Mark you are now walking through a new door in this conversation. You are finding that doubt is less powerful, that you are more sure, constantly more sure that this is me talking. As a result the reality of these conversations is sinking DEEP into your heart. You know it’s me, you crave my voice.

And that’s going to be the very source of the pain. This time a good pain, a satisfying pain, a ‘no pain, no gain’ sort of pain.

The more you hear my voice, the more you will crave it. The more you crave it, the more you will come back. You won’t be able to live without it. Life without the voice will be painful, confusing, distracting. You’ll find you need to come back, again and again and again. Without my voice, even for a few moments, nothing will work, your relationships will be so lacking, your business so pointless. You will be like a man with a new wife, unable to bear a moment, pained by even just a moment out of her presence.

I kept expecting you to say that the pain will be in the hearing. Not so much in the NOT hearing, but in the hearing itself.

That too.

There is pain in both the hearing and the NOT hearing. As I said, like an athlete. There is pain in the exercise, as it shapes the body, the pain also shapes the mind, the will and as it does, new pain happens in the mind, the pain of commitment. The pain is good, satisfying, and it works at many levels.

The pain of conversation with me works at many levels too. You’re right. That was my voice you heard. There will be pain in the NOT hearing, and there will be pain in the hearing too.The pain in the hearing will come from hearing me so clearly, so closely that I will invade your very soul. No longer will that just be something you read in the Bible, and claimed as though you understood it when you felt my presence. The feeling of my presence isn't even the half of it Mark. When my voice too invades your mind, when you cannot escape the voice, when no matter where you are, who you are with, when you can hear the constant voice of the Creator speaking, the intense clarity of seeing creation as it really is.   

Mark the pain will be intense. It will transform your mind, it will lead you, and the result will be you will become a son of God.

How can that be painful?

It is the pain of love Mark. The rawness of my closeness, when it is almost too much to bear. The pain of beauty without ugliness. Because as you hear more of my voice, the gaps for the enemy to speak into will be less and less. The pain of being loved and realising that all of your hopelessness is a lie. The pain of knowing that the Creator sees you and calls you loved, accepted, desired, wanted. That he, the lamb of God, is vulnerable to you, runs to you.

You find this a hard concept to grasp. How can all of that be painful? It’s the intensity Mark. The pain of knowing the heart of the Creator. Not the 'man of sorrows' Creator; not just him, but the Lord of Joy. The Lord of the Dance. The Lord who invented laughter.

You will, if you keep this up, and you will Mark, there is no doubt, you are addicted now; if you keep this up you will find that the intensity of my presence causes you to wonder whether you can bear any more. That’s a good pain to have.

“Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell to his knees before Jesus. “Master, leave. I’m a sinner and can’t handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.”

“he was suddenly dazed by a blinding flash of light. As he fell to the ground, he heard a voice”

“[When Moses came down] he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. When Aaron and all the Israelites saw Moses, his face was radiant, and they were afraid to come near him.”

You'll begin to understand the Trinity, the intensity of our love for each other. You’ll feel that in the very depth of your being. It will be almost too much, too big, too beautiful to bear. THAT’s the pain I’m talking about Mark and the smell of it, the promise of it, the reality of it will hold you so that you can no longer escape your lover’s embrace. And what a lover! God, the trinity, the Son, the Father, the Spirit. Blinding light.

Related Resources: 

How to Hear God's Voice!   

Related Blogs: 

How to Hear God’s Voice   
Add new comment


Anonymous's picture

This word from God spoke into my heart and the struggle I've been having with whether or not I'll survive the pain I've been through.

Thank you for sharing.

Add new comment

This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.


Results 1 - 10 of 442


4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice

4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 305 Pages | Retail: $16.99

Have you ever wished you could just sit down and have a long talk with the Lord? Wouldn't it be wonderful to move beyond having a theology that states that God loves you to actually hearing Him whisper words of love into your heart? When you're worried or confused, wouldn't you love to see the situation from His perspective and hear how He wants you to respond?

Price: $12.95

4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice (hard cover)

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 305 Pages

40% off the suggested retail price!

For the first time EVER! Hardcover copies of 4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice. This is a magnificent, beautiful gift to give for any occasion. Retailing at $24.95, you can purchase it through our website at only $15.00! Bless people with the gift of spiritual intimacy with the Lord Jesus Christ. Get a souvenir copy for yourself. Only 600 copies produced, so order while supplies last!

Price: $15.00

Dialogue with God

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 296 Pages

This top seller for 30 years from Bridge Logos provides a narrative, right-brain presentation of the principles of how to hear God's voice. Especially enjoyable for personal use, it makes a great gift for introducing a loved one to the voice of God. This book teaches the four keys to hearing God's voice in readable style, and also devotes two entire chapters to moving samples of people's journaling (i.e. their two-way dialogue with God).

Price: $16.99
Hear God's Voice Guaranteed Package

Hear God's Voice Guaranteed Package

9 Books, 10 CDs, 10 DVDs at a $30+ savings

Have you ever wished you could just sit down and have a long talk with the Lord? Wouldn't it be wonderful to move beyond having a theology that states that God loves you to actually hearing Him whisper words of love into your heart? When you're worried or confused, wouldn't you love to see the situation from His perspective and hear how He wants you to respond? When things don't seem to be going your way and your prayers aren't answered the way you had hoped, wouldn't it be great to hear Him tell you where He is in the midst of it, and what He is working out in your life? Are you ever just a little bit jealous of others who say with such confidence, "The Lord said...."?

Price: $175.00

How to Hear God's Voice

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 317 Pages

We recommend that you order the newest revision of this book titled 4 Keys to Hearing God's Voice. It includes 95% of the content of How to Hear God's Voice but is reorganized so it fits perfectly with the 10 DVDs on this subject by Mark Virkler. In addition, it gets you started using the four keys earlier in the book and gives you more journaling samples and exercises. Since we have removed the large margins, it is a smaller and less expensive book.

Price: $19.95

Prayers That Heal the Heart - Revised & Expanded 20th Anniversary Edition

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 320 Pages

Prayer counseling that breaks every yoke! Everything you need to experience deep healing of your soul and spirit.

Did you know that you don’t need to be continually plagued by negative thoughts, feelings, pictures or memories?

It is not part of the "human condition" to feel the constant nagging of doubt, insecurity, or anger. No matter what sin you are trying to overcome, what lie you think you’ll always believe, or what traumas your heart has suffered in the past, you will receive total freedom and restoration by praying these prayers in faith. 

Price: $17.99

Counseled by God

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 146 Pages

Have you ever been defeated by negative emotions such as anger, fear, guilt, inferiority, condemnation or depression? Have you tried to fight them off unsuccessfully? Is there an answer that is deeper than simply trying to mentally reason yourself out of these emotions? Is there a way that Jesus can speak a word of life into the depths of your emotional despair and bring healing on a deep level? Is there a form of Christian counseling that begins and ends with the movement of Christ within your heart, rather than simply with the words of man?

Price: $9.95
Hear God Through Your Dreams Workbook Cover

Hear God Through Your Dreams Workbook

by Mark and Patti Virkler | 92 Pages

A new book has just been released that accompanies this workbook: Click here for Hearing God Through Your Dreams by Charity Kayembe and Mark Virkler (featured on Sid Roth's "It's Supernatural", with almost a million views just on YouTube).

Do you often wake up feeling there was a significant message in your dream, but you’re just not sure what it is? Like Daniel and Joseph, do you long to be able to help others understand their own dreams and win them to Christ as you explain His night messages to them? Wouldn't it be nice if you could receive mid-course corrections from the Lord while you sleep? Do you wish you could be receiving divine inspiration, creative solutions to problems, and direction from the Lord during that third of your life that you’re “just” sleeping?

Price: $11.95

Hearing God Through Your Dreams

by Mark Virkler and Charity Virkler Kayembe | 292 Pages

Learn How to Hear God’s Voice, Even When You Are Sleeping

It is always fun to be on the winning team. Well look what God has done with Charity's new dreams teaching. It has taken off like a rocket with a live TV interview on Cornerstone Network and her Sid Roth interview which has almost a million views on YouTube!

Price: $16.99

Everyday Angels

by Charity Virkler Kayembe and Joe Brock 289 Pages

You can partner with Heaven’s angelic hosts!

Do you have guardian angels? Does God want you to know them? Find out what Scripture reveals and how YOU can interact with the company of Heaven!

The supernatural realm permeates our natural world! Therefore, experiencing angels should be an everyday occurrence–we simply need to open our spiritual eyes to their reality and role in our lives.

Price: $16.99