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50 Shades of Black, White, or Grey?

Jesse Birkey's picture

Pornography is not a new thing.  Many books and many articles have been written about its dangers and overt immorality.  So before you roll your eyes at the notion of another article coming against what many consider to be porn for women note this:  Never before has pornography been promoted and publically accepted by the Christian community until the release of 50 Shades of Grey.  It’s a grievous milestone.


My wife Kara wrote this article back when 50 Shades of Grey was released.  She grew increasingly concerned at the number of Christian women reading and promoting it.  Now that the movie release is scheduled, it seems appropriate to publish it again.  Especially since the trailer is making it’s way through circles of Christian women excited to see it.


A Christian and Biblical Response


There are many things in Christian culture that seem to be “grey areas.”  What I mean is that there are things the Bible does not specifically address and so it’s left to our discernment to decide. 


Drinking can be one of those areas.  While it’s tough to make an argument for getting drunk, the biblical support for or against drinking period can be convincing either way depending on whom you talk too.


So, what about a book like, Fifty Shades of Grey


First I’ll preface this by saying I have spent a good deal of time praying and seeking God on this subject.  I, in no way, want to stand in judgment of anyone.  I have no right to judge.  But this is a subject that God has been stirring in my heart for a while.  Is this a grey area or is it black and white?


I did quite a bit of research about this book so lets first look at the facts:


Wikipedia defines Fifty Shades of Grey as an “erotic novel… notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism (BDSM).” 


Numerous media articles have dubbed Fifty Shades of Grey “mommy porn.”  I could go on about the facts and the plot of the book, but I feel this is enough.


Ladies, would we be (or are we) ok with our husbands looking at pornography or going to strip clubs?  I would guess that many would not be.  Is this any different?  Many have argued that it’s “waking up” the sex lives of many marriages.  Is involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism the type of intimacy we want with our husbands?  Is this a show of mutual love and respect?  


Lets look at what the Bible has to say about lust/sexual immorality:


1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.


A couple others are 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 & 1 Peter 2:11 (there are, of course, MANY more).  Look at the following passage about the “marriage bed:”


Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.


Is bringing this into our “marriage bed” defiling?  It might seem exciting and new at first but what happens when it’s not enough?  What happens when we become discontent with the spouses that God has joined us with because they don’t meet the expectations books like this establish?  Where do we go next? 

Sin is ALWAYS progressive. 

The Bible tells us to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23).  Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8 that the things we allow in should be true, worthy of reverence, honorable, seemly, just, pure, lovely and lovable, kind and winsome and gracious, virtuous and excellent, and worthy of praise.

My heart hurts for those who believe the lie that books like 50 Shades of Grey are innocent; that they can be beneficial to marriages or that they are good because they exposes sexual abuse. 

I encourage you to pray and discern for yourself.  I pray that God would bless you as you walk out TRUE love in your life.


If you have read this book how do you feel like it has affected you?

Is this book running through your Christian circles?




Jesse and Kara Birkey



[email protected]





Jesse and Kara Birkey are committed lovers of Jesus who seek to show others the extraordinary life of Jesus is available for everyone.  They have authored two books, been featured in films and seek to serve the Lord in whatever ways they can.  Follow their blog here.    


Bring Jesse and Kara to your venue.  Find more information here.


Life Resurrected, Extraordinary Miracles through Ordinary People has been endorsed by Sid Roth and Mark Virkler and is a collection of inspiring stories making it clear that the extraordinary life of Jesus is available to all who love Him.  It’s also the testimony of Jesse’s life, the road he travelled bringing him into the arms of Jesus. Get the paperback here.  Get the Kindle Version Here. View the trailer here.    


Marriage What’s the Point? One couple finds meaning in a crazy mess is the story of their marriage—The tragedy and the restoration.  They bear their hearts in an attempt to get others to bear theirs and finally receive the freedom they’ve longed for.  Get the paperback here.  Get the Kindle Version Here.


Jesse is also featured in the film DeadRaiser, a movie shining the spotlight on resurrection testimonies across the nation.  Find more information here.







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