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Do you think of vulnerability as courage and leadership? Have you ever been involved in a conversation about trivial matters when someone changes the whole tone of the engagement by expressing a personal vulnerability? This takes the whole conversation to a deeper level and opens the door for others to move in the same direction, but someone has to go first. The one who does so is expressing courage and leadership by directing the conversation for the benefit of all. If you don’t like small talk you can disengage from it or you can steer it into deeper waters.

Do you divide people between good and bad? In these rough categories you have to overlook some positive qualities in those you regard as bad, and some bad habits in those you regard as good. I told you not to judge others and there is a reason for this. You will always get it wrong. Knowing this, what would be a better way to consider the people you meet? The dividing line between good and evil runs through the middle of every human heart. With this view you don’t need to assign people to categories, but realize that every person carries the potential for both good and bad, as you do. 

You don’t have to be a believer to realize that people have a sense of presence. This is illustrated by modern communications that allow you to exchange information with someone over a distance. Yet as much as people embrace the technology, they still acknowledge that physical proximity makes a difference, and is better where the connection is desirable. There is no substitute for being together. You cannot see me, but have you not already discerned my presence? Believers refer to it as if it were nearly tangible.

Do you know that you have a sense of presence? You may have heard this term used in reference to people who are famous or charismatic, but like personality, everyone has a presence. Some people have a dominating sense of presence, and as it were, inhale all the oxygen from every room they enter. There is a reason that such people are referred to as suffocating. Do you think of meekness as weakness and humility as lost opportunities for influence? You could also think of these qualities as giving you a sense of presence that makes way for the presence of others.

What do you think of the idea of surrender? Is this the worst thing that can happen to you, as a fugitive with no chance to escape or a solider facing certain defeat? This concept is normally associated with defeat and loss of control, freedom, agency, and autonomy; the things you hold most dear. Yet I have called you surrender to me. Can you see why this call meets with resistance from those on the outside who don’t understand? What has been your experience with surrender to me? For I am not calling you to surrender to domination, but to love which gives you life.

What do you think of the story of Abraham and Isaac? Have you encountered skeptics who view this story critically, saying that it is an egregious example of blind obedience and cruelty? Who would be willing to sacrifice his own son? (Me) What sort of God would require it? The fact that the deed was thwarted after Abraham had demonstrated he was ‘all-in’ doesn’t satisfy the critics. Note that the deed was not thwarted in my case. Can you see how profound the parallels are between these stories?

Do you know the difference between empathy and sympathy? These terms sound similar, but they have different meanings. Sympathy is feeling for and empathy is feeling with. If these still sound similar consider the concept of feeling sorry for. This can also be described as pity and it is something that can be done from a distance, with no personal relationship or connection. Empathy is not something that can be expressed with detachment. It requires a sense of solidarity with the one who is suffering.

See Karen's website and new book here.

In reading this, please be aware that this blog is but a small snapshot, a glimpse if you like, of a very much larger topic. Although I will endeavour to provide an extensive overview, it would be impossible to collate a lifetime of experience into a single written page. Any further questions you have, feel free to ask me. (See details at the end of this blog.)

I told you not to be like those who attract attention to their giving and their praying, announcing it with fanfare or doing it as a public performance. Rather when you give you should not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, and you should shut yourself in your closet and pray in secret to your Father and in both cases he will reward you openly. Why hide the good things that you do? One benefit is to purify your motives. Can you be indifferent to even your own thoughts about how people view your actions if they are done in public?

Do you like to connect with other people? This is a universal human longing. I put it in you. It is not good for the man to be alone. This extends beyond marriage. You can encounter people without being unequally yoked with them. People do not thrive on isolation and alienation, so you benefit others as well as yourself by connecting with them. Can you extend this valuable process to the next step? Do you introduce your friends to each other when you think they are a good fit and it would be beneficial for both? Do you see yourself and relationships enhanced or diminished in the process?