Where is God Amidst All This Chaos?
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Final Paper for Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray

Shaloma Gray

     This book was a crucial part of my success with this course.  The first change that took place in me was visualizing my self as a vessel.  I visualized my body in the air, clear, and empty.  Through my body ran this warm orange colored liquid. It ran fast and consistently.  My body stood still while like clock work this fluid went in the same direction.  This vision marked the beginning of my life changing experience. 

     I then developed an understanding of the word vessel.  A vessel is an empty tube that can be filled with any substance.  The substance affects the will, actions, and direction of the vessel.  The vessel can be completely taken over by whatever it contains.  This understanding marked the second change in my life. 

     I recognized what the book meant by displaying the fact that I could no longer live.  The Holy Spirit led me to the question who am I.  Once again, I used vision to see myself floating in the air.  I was filled with the fluid.  I looked at myself and could not give myself a name.  I could not identify with the person in front of me.  I realized that I was nothing without the fluid.  The fluid was living, vibrant, and had much life.  Without the fluid the vessel would perish.  It would sink into nothing and would not exist.  I had to get to know the fluid that lives inside of me.  I had to become one with this fluid.  This led me to my second change. 

     Getting to know the fluid that ran through my vessel was not going to be easy. It appeared that there was something in the way.  I did not know what it was until I realized the voice that came out of my thoughts.  It appeared to be a powerful voice, one with direction, and strength.  It appeared to be all knowing and self fulfilling.  I knew an understanding of this part of the vessel was an important step in getting to touch the fluid that ran throughout me. 

     I used vision to imagine the brain.  The fluid ran through my body starting from the neck down.  It never went to my brain.  This vision was difficult for me.  The Holy Spirit explained to me that my free will is powerful.  It has a direction of its own.  In the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve had the choice to abide in God and eat of the tree of life, or ignore him and eat the fruit of knowledge and evil.  My free will comes from the forbidden tree of knowledge and evil.  God instructed me that one cannot make choices unless he knows what is on the other side.  What is there to choose from if everything I understand is the same?       

     I was extremely moved by this vision.  I could see my free will sitting at the top of my body.  I could see all the choices I made in spite of the fluids that moved through the rest of my body.  When I did things that were wrong the fluid slowed down.  When I abided in the directions of the fluid it flowed fast and consistently.  The only break in the flow was when I attempted to make decisions.  This vision led to the fourth change. 

     The book shouted out the words "Christ is Life!"  I came to the conclusion through a vision that the fluid was the life of my vessel.  It controlled my vessel continuously.  Without the fluid I was uncertain of my existence.  I had no direction only choices.  I had no control over anything. How could I control anything successfully when I cannot make any decisions only choices?  I can say that I choose to go left, but, the enemy could make it impossible for me to get to the left, so I will end up in another direction without any means of control.  This led to my decision to accept Christ as my life.  I desired to give his spirit the right to control everything within my vessel.  My thoughts and feelings would all come from one source.  The fluid that flowed through me would now flow to my brain.  It would extend its power over my free will.  I wanted this to happen with all of my heart; however, 

     I had one more obstacle that stood in my way.  I could not figure it out, so I asked God to help me see it through vision.  I saw myself in mid air and the fluid was flowing throughout my body.  It was going to my brain but, every time it went to the brain a thought would bounce it back down to the level of my eyes.  It would continue to flow up and down.  Whatever this thing was that kept bouncing the fluid away, it was not of my abiding spirit.  It was an intruder.  This thing was an enemy.  I then visualized waves coming from the air into my ears.  Theses waves went to my brain.  I noticed that every time the wave got to my brain it blocked the fluid.  This vision led me to my fifth change. 

     The waves that came from the outside of my vessel were words from Satan and his demons.  They made it an effort to remind me that I was unworthy of Christ.  The words reminded me that I had sin too dark to cover.  I had stains in my life that could not be washed away.  They informed me that God remembers all sins.  They chanted that I was against the word of God.  I could never follow Gods Holy bible completely so I was doomed for hell.  They welcomed me to the world of giving up and given in. 

     The next vision I saw was the intuitive flow pushing the thoughts back up to the brain.  The thoughts would never go away completely, but the fluid would never stay down.  It continued to go up and up.  Then I saw the conclusion of the vision.  My eyes became focused on the fluid within the vessel.  I focused my eyes directly on the fluid.  I meditated and began to hear the flow of the fluid.  The fluid had a voice that was clear and loving.  It spoke words of wisdom, direction, and forgiveness.  This led to my final change from the book by Murray.  I learned that abiding in Christ is not just reading the bible, going to church, and following the directions of the preacher, church group, are my self.  Abiding in Christ means to die and allow Christ to live through me.  It means that I no longer live but the fluid, which stands for Christ lives through me.  I live through and by the power of The Father, His Son, and His Holy Spirit.  Isaiah said it best; Gods spirit is living fire running through my bones.  Amen! 

You can experience exactly what Shaloma has experienced, and live the way she is currently living every day. The following books will teach you step-by-step how to abide in Christ: Sense Your Spirit, The Great Mystery and Naturally Supernatural

These books, as well as Abide In Christ by Andrew Murray, are also part of two distance learning college courses from Christian leadership University: REN204 Naturally Supernatural and REN206 Increasing the Anointing. Committing to this level of discipleship will allow you to fully integrate these principles at the level that Shaloma describes.

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