Glory to Glory – A Promise

Tara Dulin's picture

NOTE TO READER: I have included several related encounters with Jesus here. The first encounter occurred June 20, 2012. In this entry, I reference a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage the same day – several hours later. I was 7 weeks pregnant. The entries that follow are my honest, raw conversations with Jesus about my pain, grief and loss. I am sharing my personal pain and Jesus' victory publically because I know many women and men have suffered the tremendous grief associated with the loss of a child (or children) to miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, SIDS, accidents, and unspeakable tragedies. Please share my story with others that need to hear of Jesus’ love for them and His desire and ability to redeem even their deepest pain.

My story: Four years ago – after two perfect pregnancies that resulted in the supernatural delivery of my two beautiful sons – I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. The miscarriage was difficult physically, and it shook me to the core both emotionally and spiritually. I suffered with depression as a result. In the 10 months following that miscarriage, I had two more miscarriages (both very early). I was stuck in grief during that period of time, but Jesus was faithful. He met me where I was, and led me back to joy in Him that same year. Had you asked me prior to June 20, 2012, I would’ve told you that Jesus had set me free from the grief associated with those 3 miscarriages. Please read the entries below that address my pain, loss and questions associated with now 4 miscarriages, but don’t stop there. Read of the supernatural restoration and redemption Jesus accomplished in me for His glory (the last entry below) via "The 4 Keys."

If you were to ask my husband, he would tell you I was not the same person after the last encounter with the Lord I recorded below. Jesus literally exchanged grief for joy in an instant. The transaction was supernatural and permanent. He took me from glory to glory. He took me to a deeper place in Him. I am so grateful I can hear His voice. To God be the glory.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Rom 8:28)

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June 20, 2012 – Wednesday

GLORY TO GLORY – A PROMISE

I quiet myself: “Good morning, Lord. I am here. I have missed our time together. I have gotten away from the routine of seeking You and spending time with You in the morning. Forgive me, Lord. I miss You, Jesus. You are the lover of my soul. Not to make excuses. But will You please help me figure out how I can keep you in the first place of priority given my summer schedule – swim team practice, teaching [I teach fitness classes] and the exhaustion associated with this pregnancy? And will You please help me find my “missing” journal entries after May 15, 2012? Thank You, Lord. I love You. I am here. I choose to fix my eyes on You. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. Open the ears of my heart. I want to see You. I want to hear You. I choose to fix my eyes on You, Lord. I love You and I worship You. Where are You, Jesus? I want to see You. I want to hear You.”

I sing a song in my spirit: “High and lifted up. Shining in the light of Your glory. Pour out Your power and love. Holy, holy, holy. Holy, holy, holy. I want to see You. You are My refuge and strength.”

I see Jesus. He is before me. He is floating kind of in a shimmery cloud of colors. It is a cloud of glory.

“I see You, Lord. I want to be with You.”

He reaches down and picks me up. I am in His arms. He starts flying with me like superman carrying Lois Lane. I am cradled in His arms. I am hanging on His neck. We are not flying super sonic fast. But we are more “floating” together, but with purpose. We are headed somewhere.

I ask: “Where are you taking me, Lord?”

My Lord speaks: “I am taking you from glory to glory.”

“Awesome. Where You go, I go. Where You lead, I will follow.”

He starts spinning around gently as we fly. He is playing with me. We laugh. I enjoy being with my Savior. My eyes are fixed on Him. I have not paid attention to our surroundings. We are still in the cloud of color, it is a glory cloud. Jesus is shiny and bright and glowing. All I see is His presence and His glory.

My Lord speaks: “I am glory to glory. I am glory. When I take you from glory to glory. I take you to a deeper place in Me.”

“What is this deeper place you speak of, Lord?”

My Lord speaks: “It is more of Me. And less of you. It is more truth, and less flesh. It is more truth and less doubt. It is more faith and less fear. It is My plan for you to live in perfect and complete fellowship with Me. This was My intent in the garden of Eden. You have desired this relationship with Me, but you have not known it until now. I gave you the name for the daughter you desired when you were pregnant with [my second-born son]. But until now you have not been living out of that level of intimacy and relationship with Me. I desired to bring healing and restoration to you, and deliverance, that you could receive all I have for you – and what I have for you is more of Me. I am returning you to Eden – that place of perfect fellowship with Me. Your child [He is referencing the child in my womb] signifies that relationship and intimacy. Your child was born out of greater intimacy with your husband and with Me. Your marriage models and represents Our love and Our relationship. As Our love and intimacy has grown, your marriage has grown as well.”

“Are we having a daughter, Lord?”

“It is as you have said.”

“Wow. You are amazing, Lord. Thank you for blessing us with another child. We receive all You have for us.”

I am safe and content in His embrace.

[I ask Him about something else I had been praying about.] “… ?”

I open my eyes and look at His face. He is looking at me. We are not flying anymore.

“If that is what you want, you may have it.”

He is still looking at me.

“[My husband] and I only want what You have for us.”

“Is that your desire?”

“My desire is to help people and inspire them to live healthier and better lives. My desire is to inspire people to be whole in body, soul and spirit.”

“I will give you your heart's desire. Have I ever not done so?”

“No, Lord.”

“Have I not fulfilled My promises?”

“Yes, Lord.”

“I will fulfill this one as well.”

“Yes, Lord.”

“Will you put your faith, hope and trust in Me? And in Me alone?”

“Yes, Lord.”

“I am taking you from glory to glory.”

“Yes, Lord. Where You lead, I will follow. I am my beloved's.”

“And My beloved is Mine.”

“Was the dream I had significant, Lord?”

“Yes … ”

“Yes, Lord. I trust You. I love You.”

We start moving again. I am in Jesus' embrace. I am in His glory. He is taking me from glory to deeper glory in Him.

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June 22, 2012 – Friday

LOSS & RAW GRIEF #1

I cry out to the Lord: “I am here, Lord. I come to You in hope and in my time of need. Where are You, Lord? What do You want to say to me, Lord? I am hurting. I don't understand. I want answers. I am so tempted to say ‘forget it.’ I don't understand why You would give me the desire for more children only to have this happen to me again [referencing my 4th miscarriage 2 days prior]. I am hurting. Your word says You wouldn't give me a snake if I asked for bread. But why am I receiving a snake again? I even laid down my desire for another child, and you gave Me another pregnancy. More hopes and dreams shattered and lost. I am hurting and I feel like I cannot trust You. Where are You, Lord? Help me to see You.”

I am on the ground, crying. Jesus comes to me and wraps His arms around me. He is with me in my grief. I feel angry. Jesus also feels angry. I almost want to push Him away. But I do not.

“I don't understand, Lord. I trusted You. Why did this happen?”

He looks at me. Tears falling down His face. He reaches His hand out to me. I look away. He touches my arm.

“I want answers. Why? Why do a million women get abortions every year and this is happening to me again. Why? This is unjust.”

My Lord speaks: “Yes it is.”

“I thought You were the righteous judge. This is not righteous. This is not justice. You told me I would raise my third child. And now I want to walk away and say forget it. I do not understand You. [I reference a child in foster care who we love]. I cannot bear to think about it, Lord. Where is Your justice?”

“I do not rule and reign on this earth. This is a fallen world because man continues to choose his own way. [The parents of the child in foster care] continue to choose their own way. Therefore their sin affects [child in foster care].”

“Yes, it does. I understand that. But what of me? I am not choosing my own way. I laid down my desire for another biological child. I surrendered that and had no hopes in that regard. If You knew this would happen, WHY did You give me another pregnancy? WHY am I going through this loss again? WHY won't You answer me? WHY? I trusted You. And You spoke to me of my pregnancy the very morning before I miscarried. Explain that to me, Lord. Why? Why? WHY? You told me You were taking me from glory to glory. Then within five or six hours I began to lose my baby.”

My Lord speaks: “My heart is breaking with you, Tara. This is a fallen world.”

“Yes, but You told me that together we would establish Your kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. And now this. You even told me I was becoming the daughter I desired. You told me I was having a daughter. I feel so betrayed, Lord. The boys wanted to name her [name]. That was the name You gave me years ago for my daughter. They did not know that was the name we had chosen. I do not understand.”

“I am not a man that I should lie.”

“I don't know how I can trust You after this. I don't know if I can endure another possible loss like this. Is it a hormonal imbalance? Did I lose a perfectly healthy baby because of an imbalance?”

“You want to blame someone or something. I understand that.”

“Yes, I want answers. I want to know why and how this happened. Why won't You give me answers? I am hurting. I bound fear when I prayed with [pregnant friend], and her cramping stopped. Her healthy pregnancy continues. I prayed for [another pregnant friend] and encouraged her to do the same, and her pregnancy continues to be healthy. I pray over my baby and my womb, and now this. Why? Please tell me why I lost my baby. I want to know why I am going through this again. Why won't you answer me? Why? How can I trust You again?”

“I only want what is best for you. I am so sorry that you are hurting.”

“If you want what's best for me, why did this happen? Was there something wrong with the baby because I feel like the baby was healthy. Am I wrong?”

“Tara, I am grieving with you. When you grieve, I grieve. When you weep, I weep. I am so sorry for your loss.”

“This is all You have to say to me, Lord? The same empty words of a human friend. Why would I ever trust you again?”

“I am not a man that I should lie. This is a fallen world. Things happen that I do not have dominion over.”

“Then why on earth do I bother praying to You in the first place? What on earth is the point of faith if there are things that happen that cannot be changed?”

“Because you don't know what things can be changed and what things cannot be changed. Only I know those things.”

“But Lord, why did you allow me to get pregnant, and get my hopes up and speak to me about a pregnancy that was not viable? Why did You not protect me and [my husband] and [my children] from this pain and this loss?”

“That's why you were guarded and you did not tell everyone. That was best. It was best that you not tell everyone.”

“This is true. Thank You for that, Lord. It was best to not discuss it. And to put my mind on other things. For the kids' sake. I need to keep myself pulled together for them.”

“Tara, I know you are hurting. I hurt with you. You grieve and I grieve. I am with you always.”

“You're not going to give me answers, Lord, are You?”

My Lord speaks: “There are no answers that will satisfy your pain. I am with you in your grief. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you.”

“I feel forsaken in this, Lord.”

“You are not forsaken. I am with you. My grace is sufficient. My power is perfected in your weakness.”

“Your grace better help me get through [a friend’s baby shower I was hosting in several weeks]. I am not in the mood to rejoice with anyone right now.”

“Rest in Me. Your strength will return. Your joy will return. I will return you to joy. I am happy to be with you. No matter what you are feeling or going through, I am happy to be with you. I am always here for you.”

“I am having a hard time trusting You, Lord. But I am grateful for your embrace.”

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My dear friend, Cherry Stone, came over Sunday, June 24, 2012. Using "The 4 Keys," she had asked the Lord what He wanted to say to me, and she shared His words promise and hope with me. I am so grateful for friends that can hear His voice:

What do You want to say to Tara, Jesus?

“Tara is one of My diamonds, refined thru extreme pressure. I don't bring her pain, but I use it to make her into my threshing instrument, winnowing, tearing down the works of satan and bringing in the end time harvest. There are many hard days ahead, days of great fear, trauma, uncertainty, but I am an unmoveable rock. I change not. I am who I say I am. Oh taste and see that the Lord is good. I will turn mourning into dancing, grief into joy, questions into answers. I say, trust Me and My ways – not understand Me and My ways. I am ever faithful. I change not. Pour your pain into Me. I change gall and bitterness into sweet wine, the wine of My increased presence. Tara, I hold your dear babies and they are precious to Me, made in My image, safe in My arms for all eternity. We are watching you. They are watching their dear Mama, full of hopeful expectation of the day when they will be reunited with you. Let nothing come between us, Tara. You are Mine. I will heal your pain. I understand your pain and I feel it right along with you. Release it all to Me. I make all things new and all things right. I have loved you with an everlasting love. Let me hold you, heal you, pour out your heart to Me. I will heal you. Dearest Tara, come, let Papa hold you. Don't turn away for I am all you need. Turn into Me, casting all your cares upon Me. Let Me turn your mourning into joy. Mourning may last for a night, but joy comes with the morning. Let us make a supernatural exchange. I will do what cannot be done if you will trust Me with your pain. Come, come let Me hold you. I love you. My heart breaks, just as yours does. I know what it is to lose a child. I understand your pain. I love you, dear one.”

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NOTE TO READER: After Cherry shared the above with me, I journaled:

June 24, 2012 – Sunday

LOSS & RAW GRIEF #2

“I am here, Lord. Will you come to me?”

My Lord speaks: “I love you, Tara. I am always with you.”

“Why, Jesus? Why did this happen? I don't understand. It hurts so bad. You told me You were taking me from glory to glory. To a deeper place in You. Then this.”

“I am fellowshipping with you in your suffering, grief and loss. I am Emmanuel. I am always with you. Where there is high reward, there is high risk. You cannot have another pregnancy and birth another child unless you open yourself up to the possibility of pregnancy. Your faith pleases Me. Your trust in Me pleases Me. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I am happy to be with you always. My love never fails. I am faithful. You can trust Me. I only have good things in store for you.”

“How can You say that when I am grieving the loss of another child? How is this good? There is nothing good about this. Did You not know this would be the outcome? What on earth is Your purpose in this? How is this working together for my good? I do not understand.”

“My ways are not your ways. I am not a man that I should lie. Your heart is toward your husband, your children, and your home. This situation served to re-center you in that respect.”

“I see that. Yes, You definitely drove home the point that I desire more children biologically. So You know that is my heart's desire. Yet You gave me an unhealthy pregnancy. How does that make sense? I do not want any more miscarriages, Lord. I want another child. I want a perfectly healthy pregnancy and a perfectly healthy child. I want my next child / children – and [my two sons] too – to live long, full, and productive lives. I want them to serve You all of their days. I am asking You to protect me from further miscarriage and further loss. Is that clear enough, Lord? Will You give me that? Can I trust You?”

“I hear you. I know your heart's desire. My desire is to fulfill your heart's desire.”

“I want justice. I want redemption. Can I trust You to give me that? Because at this point I am not convinced that I can.”

“Your Redeemer lives. I desire to make all things right concerning you. I will guard your heart. I will protect your heart.”

“Honestly, Lord. I am still having a hard time receiving Your words as truth. I just don't know if I can trust You. I trusted You, and this happened. I do not understand.”

“This child was created for My presence.”

“Can I have another child here on earth, in my arms and in my home, Lord? I know I am not perfect or a perfect mom. But I desire another child.”

“Tara, you are a great mom. And I am so sorry that you are hurting.”

“Yes, I am hurting. I am grieving. My heart aches with the loss. And now I have to plan [a friend’s] baby shower, and rejoice with her [and four other friends who are pregnant]. Help me, Lord.”

“Thank you for being honest with Me and telling Me your feelings. My heart aches with yours. I cry with you. My grace is sufficient. I will help you rejoice with them. You can trust Me. I have only your best interest in mind.”

“I am trying to believe that, Lord. But I believed You before and this happened. Why won't You tell me ‘why’?”

“My ways are not your ways. I will make all things right. I am faithful. You can trust Me. Will you trust Me?”

Jesus reaches out His hand.

“I want to trust You, Lord. I am scared of being hurt again. You say You are good. But this is not good for me.”

“I am good. In the midst of pain and loss and grief and death, I am still good. I am still life. I am still love. I am still faithful.”

I tentatively put my hand in Jesus' hand. I am still scared. I am scared to let go. I am scared to trust.

Jesus holds my left hand with this right hand. He places his left hand on my heart. He speaks in the tongues of angels and kisses my forehead.

“I am close to the broken-hearted and the crushed in spirit. I am close to you, Tara.”

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NOTE TO READER: The Lord woke me at 5am Sunday, July 1, 2012. I knew He had something for me. I immediately went to Him and journaled using "The 4 Keys":

July 1, 2012 – Sunday

MY BABIES IN HEAVEN

I quiet myself: “I am here, Jesus. I love You. I worship You. I am Yours forever. You are Emmanuel. You are the Lover of my soul. Oh how I love You. Oh how I worship You. Your love overwhelms me. I am here, sweet Jesus. I am here. I long to see Your face. I long to hear Your voice. What is it You want to share with me today? Where are You, Lord? I look for You. I choose to set my mind and my eyes on things above. I look to You. You are the air I breathe. You are the song I sing. Without You, there's no living.”

I see myself dancing in worship. Jesus comes behind me. He dances with me. I move in Him. He moves with me. Together we move. He is alive. He is with me. I turn around and fall into His embrace. He holds me in His arms. He begins to spin faster and faster and faster. He grows bigger and bigger and bigger. I remain the same size. I am completely and totally abandoned to Him. Where He ends and I begin, I do not know. He has become a funnel cloud of His glory. I am in the center of Him. I see my form. His form is now a funnel cloud, but His face is at the center of the funnel cloud. He is smiling at me. I smile at Him. I see what appears to be gold dust or gold particles swirling around me at top speed. I feel warm. His glory penetrates my skin. It sinks into me. I am now the same color as His glory. My form is intact, but I am the color of His glory cloud.

“This is My glory. I am Glory. I am taking you from glory to glory.”

His feet are still on the earth. His glory cloud is huge. It stretches from the earth all the way up into the sky. I sensed we were moving. I look left to right, and I see nothing but His glory on either side of me. Every which way I see His glory. But His glory is no longer just gold. It is a rainbow of what appears to be glory dust – moving particles dancing and spinning. They dance and spin together and become shapes. Every color of the rainbow is represented. The colors are subtle but brilliant. They are soft but so bright I almost have to look away, but I do not.

“You are seeing in the spirit. These are heavenly beings.”

All of a sudden, I see children playing among the orbs. They are chasing them and catching them as if they are playing with bubbles. I start sobbing. I realize my children [my 4 children lost to miscarriage] are here. I cling to the Lord. I am overcome with intense emotions of joy. I cannot stop sobbing. Jesus puts me down. I am still the same color as His glory cloud. The children are the same color as His glory cloud. The children start lining up holding hands. I see my babies in the center of the line. I recognize them. I have 2 girls and 2 boys.

“Jesus, they are so beautiful.”

I am weeping. I am on my knees. My babies run to me.

“MOMMY!”

The oldest girl holds her baby sister in her arms. She gives her to me. I cradle the baby and embrace my children.

Children are still lining up. As far as I can see, I see children lining up. They are now singing a song. They are singing of the Lord's Holiness. I realize I am looking at all the children lost before birth to miscarriage or stillbirth.

My Lord speaks: “These children have never known pain, discomfort, or lack. These children went straight from their mother's womb into My embrace. All children are created for fellowship with Me, but these children have never known anything else.”

My children stay with me. The other children run to Jesus. His glory has now expanded the length and breadth of them. Every child runs right into Him. I hear His laughter and theirs.

My Lord speaks: “Oh how I love them and adore these perfect ones. What did not have the opportunity to live on earth, lives in eternity with Me, in My presence.”

I stand up, still embracing my children. I can now see behind the ones Jesus is ministering to. I am shocked when I see the multitude behind them. As far as the eye can see I see millions and millions of children singing peacefully and worshiping.

My Lord speaks: “These are the children whose lives were taken by abortion. Aren't they beautiful?”

These children are a different color of His glory – there is something different about them. I am not sure what it is. There are many, many, many more of them. I am looking at a sea of children. They are a different shade of glory.

My Lord speaks: “There is nothing that My glory cannot perfect. I have perfected all things concerning these children too.”

There is nothing but pure joy and peace in Jesus' presence, in His glory, but I look into Jesus' eyes and I see sadness when he looks at the sea of children. The sea of children begin to move as one being, as a wave. They begin to dance and stir up His glory.

“These children have been received by My love and glory. Their lives were taken from them on earth, but for eternity they will know My presence. They will know no more pain, no more rejection, no more sadness, no more loss.”

I am looking at a sea of dancing children, moving as one in dance. They are forming waves.

“These are the waves of My love, grace and mercy. These children were welcomed by My love, grace and mercy. They are glorified in My Presence.”

The children stay together. There is nothing but pure love in the hearts of these children, but both groups represent different aspects of the Lord's glory. The sea of children begins to part. And Jesus sweeps me and the first group of children into the opening. My children stay with me. We are carried away by His glory through the sea of dancing, glorified children. I cannot take my eyes off of their movements. Their movements simulate the waves of the ocean perfectly. I hear chords of humming as we move through the parted sea of children. Each wave produces a different chord of voices raised together in worship in a humming sound that sings of the glory of the Lord. Their voices create a harmony of syllables. It sounds like a song sung in the language of angels. I see waves of glory rising and falling in unison above the children who move in unison in dance, making waves. I'm not sure if the glory waves are moving the children, or the children are moving the glory waves. But they move together in unison. Glory is dancing on top of the dancing children. They are dancing with the Lord's glory.

The group of children moving with Jesus through the parted sea of children is still surrounded by the dancing bubbles of color and glory.

My Lord speaks: “My glory manifests differently to bring glory to all.”

We have come to the other side of the sea of children. On the other side is a huge playground, filled with laughter. I see multitudes of children playing and laughing.

The group of children I am with is still singing of the holiness of the Lord. They are still playing with the orbs, the bubbles of light, as they sing. The sea of children still raise their voices in a chorus of harmonies.

The children on the playground turn and cheer for Jesus when He appears on the scene. They all run to Him. They laugh and jump on Him. They are jumping up and down, and pumping their arms in delight and praise. They are jubilant.

“These are the children who never reached adulthood on earth.”

They are still jumping up and down, cheering for Jesus. Jesus joins some in a game of basketball. The children return to their play. These children are yet another shade of glory. The group of children I am with join in the fun. There are baseball games and basketball games, soccer games and touch football games. I see angels playing with them. Children play tag with angels and each other. The dancing lights stay close to the children that belonged to the group I am with.

I watch Jesus playing basketball. I am sitting on the ground with my 4 children. Hugging them, kissing them. I am holding the baby, but all of them are in my lap at the same time. They are so beautiful and they smell of purity. They smell of Jesus. The sound of laughter, songs of holiness, and the choir of harmonies of peace fills my ears. I watch the rainbow orbs of color dance around my children. My older son reaches out and catches one. He gives it to me. He smiles at me. We embrace. I am in heaven.

Comments

Anonymous's picture

In Ardent Love

Dear Tara

I am overwhlemed by your experience in the presence of God and his deep love for us. I can relate to this as I too have had an amazing experience in the arms of Jesus. I did not want to leave. It is evident that you love the lord so much and that you have a deep and intimate relationship with him. I too would love to get to that place communion with God where I can hear his voice at every turn.

Thank you so much for sharing. May the Lord continue to use you mightily. My prayer life has changed right now as I write this comment.

Anonymous's picture

In Ardent Love

I love you even though I have never met you. I can not begin to understand the depth of loss you have suffered. Nor the width of the depression you have crossed through God's power over your life. I recently stumbled across this cwgministries as I was trying to gain clearer hearing of God's precious voice. To extend my faith and to experience everything that God has for me in my life. I initially was very inspired and there are points that I still am very interested in continuing to grow. Upon reading the above testimony (journal) of your experience I found my self considering these points-

“I do not rule and reign on this earth. This is a fallen world because man continues to choose his own way. [The parents of the child in foster care] continue to choose their own way. Therefore their sin affects [child in foster care].”

“I am not a man that I should lie. This is a fallen world. Things happen that I do not have dominion over.”

“Then why on earth do I bother praying to You in the first place? What on earth is the point of faith if there are things that happen that cannot be changed?”

“Because you don't know what things can be changed and what things cannot be changed. Only I know those things.”

**Matthew 28:18- Then JESUS came and spoke to them, saying, "ALL authority has been given Me in heaven and on earth.**

In 1 John 4:1-5 God WARNS us to test the spirits. And NOT to believe every spirit. By this you know the Spirit of God, every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God....

When Jesus came to earth and lived a perfect sinless life He became the ultimate perfect sacrifice for sin. Through His death and resurrection all who believe in Him will be saved. The death of Jesus also redeemed the entire world back to God. This is no longer a "fallen world" this is a "redeemed world". (Galatians 3:13)Through Jesus' death He paid the ransom for our world. By doing that He became the rightful ruler. Satan is NO LONGER ruler of this earth. Jesus is the rightful ruler. HE RULES EVERYTHING. HE HAS DOMINION OVER EVERYTHING.

This can be referenced here:
Matthew 28:18- Then JESUS came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given Me in heaven and on earth.
Hebrews 2:8- "all things in subjection under His feet. For in that He put all in subjection under Him, He left nothing that is not put under Him.
1 Corinthians 15:27- For He has put all things under His feet.
Ephesians 1:21-22- FAR above all principality and power and might and dominion and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet..
Psalm 8:6- Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
Revelation 1:5- ...Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the first born from the dead, and the ruler over the kings of the earth...
Revelation 1:6- ... to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

This indicates that the spirit communicating with you LIED! You yourself became VERY concerned and questioned "why on earth do I bother praying to You in the first place? What on earth is the point of faith if there are things that happen that cannot be changed". If that spirit told you something that you find in direct opposition to God's WORD it is because there is NO light in them!

Isaiah 8:20- 20 To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.

Satan and the evil angels (demons) have the ability to communicate with us as well. We must TEST THE SPIRITS. This lets us know that it is our responsibility to be absolutely SURE that we are communicating with GOD not Satan...

2 Corinthians 11:14- And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.

2 Corinthians 5:7- For we walk by faith, not by sight.
Romans 10:17- So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Therefore we can NOT go by what we see, but by the truth of God's word. EVERYTHING must be tested by scripture.

Numbers 23:19- 19 God is not a man, that He should lie; neither the son of man, that He should repent: hath He said, and shall He not do it? or hath He spoken, and shall He not make it good?

That spirit LIED to you the morning of your miscarriage. GOD WOULD NEVER LIE or REPENT or need to explain something He has expressly said would happen!

*********Your precious babies are resting in Jesus. They WILL rise at the last day.***************
God is VERY clear on the state of the dead in:

Ecclesiastes 9:5- For the living know that they will die; But the dead know nothing, And they have no more reward,
For the memory of them is forgotten.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18-For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:22-26- ..in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive. BUT each one in his own order- Christ the first fruits(referring to those that were raised when Christ died-see matthew 27:52), AFTERWARD those who are Christ's at His coming. Then comes the END, when He(Jesus) delivers the kingdom to God the Father, when He puts an end to all rule and all authority and power. For He (Jesus) must reign till He has put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.

And by the way Jesus has authority over death as well. He raised several people from the dead in the Bible- most notably Lazarus! So He also has COMPLETE authority over death.

I have read books by this author. I think this book would offer additional insight:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0828013004/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&seller=

Please meditate on these Songs. I will be praying for you that you gain complete and utter clarity in Gods word and that evil angels lose any ability to communicate and interfere with God's word and revelation in your life. You were bought with an infinite price, and you are very very very important to God. He does NOT want you to be deceived. He warns in the following verse

1 Timothy 4:1- Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons,

Song Above All- Hillsong-- JESUS has ALL dominion, power, and authority.
You Reign- William Murphy

Anonymous's picture

Thank you for sharing!

Tara,
Thanks so much for sharing this experience. It made a very major impact on me, and I don't think that I will ever forget it. I generally tend not to post comments on blogs, etc., but this testimony of your encounter hit me for several reasons and I knew that I just had to reach out to you. I have never experienced a miscarriage before, but your testimony touched me in other ways. First, thank you so much for presenting another side of situations that Christians go through that are (for us humans) inexplicable. There are people that love God, pursue Him, have a close relationship with Him, and serve Him who go through things that people would not expect them to experience because of that very relationship - for example - a wonderfully anointed Pastor whose wife died suddenly without being sick (this happened a few months ago last year in our church). Usually the answers that other Christians give is that we shouldn't question God, that He is in control; we are told to remember Job and his suffering, and that we should move on and trust God anyways. But here, in your testimony you actually questioned Him (with reverence, of course)! You actually told Him how most of us really deep down inside would feel in that situation! I sooo much appreciate your honesty and rawness. I also gained a new view of the Lord by the fact that He was not angry with you for being angry and hurt with Him. What a God we serve. It showed me that we really could be ourselves completely with Him - and that it was ok, and that He could handle it. Thank you - really thank you!

Now - having gone through this experience, I was hoping that maybe you could help me. I have always wanted a close relationship with the Lord, but one thing that has always undermined my faith and prayer life is the very fact that at times - just as you experienced - we don't always get what we are believing God for....whether it is living in a fallen world, or the enemy is fighting the answer or whatever...how do we have a heart full of faith if there is the possibility that He may not answer? I know that generally God does answer prayer - but in the specific issues of my life, how do i set my expectations aright in Him? I admit, I am afraid of being disappointed by God. There are many areas near and dear to my heart that I need God to address, but I am not sure how to approach God about them with full assurance that He will answer...I hope I am making sense here...just wanted to see what your thoughts on this would be.

Thank you!

 

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